The Reformation Wasn't Just Religious

I survived my second AP Euro History test, though with what score I have no idea. Let us hope it is not as undesirable as the first. 

As Libbie has pointed out, the government has shut down. (Fun times.) Not exactly what I would consider good news, especially since this does not mean that Congress will actually accomplish anything. (That would be a miracle.)

However, I think its important we all remember what's really important.

After the Reformation, both doctors and the Church discouraged women from using wet nurses, mostly due to the fact this practice is very unhealthy for the child. 

Because this is definitely something relevant to the Reformation, as opposed to something random that's just filling my textbook's pages. (If it ever comes up as a Jeopardy question, I'll be ready.) 

In the meantime, since I am very busy and should not probably be blogging right now, have a picture of   Ulrich Zwingli, because of all the Reformers, he had the coolest name.

Oh, Government *sigh*

The American government is about as close to shutting down as it has been since the mid 90s.
For all of those non-Americans that don't watch The West Wing as well as the government flunkies that so frequently go upon this blog,  let me give you the quickest run down I can.
Basically, the republicans and democrats of the intelligent Socratic society we call congress are disagreeing and are unwilling to compromise enough to fix the problem. The disagreement is over the second least sexy political issue (only after taxes), healthcare. But we're about to hit the debt ceiling aswell which is fun.
If they can not reach an agreement within the hour, the government will shutdown. When that happens, the government is defunded and can not pay for a lot of stuff except for a fewselect things. And everyone that works for the government is unofficially fired (until it reboots). It will probably take a couple of days to start up again,  but I'm still flipping out.
If I die, tell Obama his hair looked especially funny today on C-Span.
There are 45 minutes left.
I'll see you on the other side.

I Think I Might be Part-Hermit

While Libbie's apparently been away at her month-long camp, I've been achieving great things, like watching old(ish) movies and reading a bunch of books. I'm certainly 'living the life' (of a hermit). Regardless, I also got the chance to start Doctor Who, and I have a feeling a certain someone who also posts on this blog will be pleased to hear that. (Three seasons in four days, Libbie. I'm going mad.)

Considering that we haven't yet heard back from Libbie, let's all assume she's being held captive by aliens that live in MI. (I can't remember what state that is, for shame.) So, instead, let's chat about summer homework.


Summer homework is a treacherously terrible thing that I've recently been introduced to. I've actually not got much, compared to a few of my friends. (One of them is taking a two-year course in high school, so she's got a number of full papers due first day of school.) Still, doing three different maps of Europe's been driving me a little batty, and I now know more about the society in the time between the fall of the Roman Empire and the Renaissance than I ever really cared to know.

Of course, I'm not suffering alone. There's a good forty or so other kids being driven up numerous walls by European maps and the Holy Roman Empire in my school, too. Misery does love its company.


Just like Libbie, my life this summer's been relatively boring as well. So, I see your adorable kitten and raise you a baby hedgehog.

What about the Vegetable Farmers?

We have this thing in prospering nations called fooditis (that is the official name). Basically we eat things such as meat and oil and it is bad for us and it gives people heart disease and dilates your arteries and cases many different types of cancer.

At least that is what I heard from this documentary called "Forks Over Knives".

In other news . . .
I'm at a month long camp at a University in MI. We're staying in these dorms. I know two people here, my roommate was late, and it is a huge campus. It's a little overwhelming, but I think I'll survive. If you don't here back from me, I probably died (or it was an average month in which I posted once).


I just got back from my grandmother's house.

This has been my life. 

Considering how boring it has been, I will leave you with pictures of adorable kittens.

 

An Ode to Pig Farmers

I have something very important to post about today. It's so important, I illustrated it myself.


Today, I would like to bring to your attention a group of people who are often not thought about, yet are critical to the general well-being of the universe: pig farmers.

Why yes, I am an artist.

Pigs are incredibly dirty, stinky, nasty creatures. They look adorable when they're clean, sure, but pigs are never clean.

Of course, pigs also make fabulously delicious food, in forms such as ham, bacon, and the like.

Which means that, in order to get the yummy food, those pig farmers have to put up with those smelly, dirty pigs. I've learned this after having to babysit pigs myself.

Thank you for what you do, pig farmers. Thank you for putting up with pigs so the rest of us don't have to. You're awesome.

Abraham Lincoln's Twitter Account

I've been thinking (oh noooo!) about how differently we will be screening for presidents of the future.

With social media and the Internet, what if the Abe Lincoln of tomorrow posted a controversial tweet? What if it comes up during the general election that the candidate was eating ice cream instead  of studying for their bio exam because they finally realized that they only live once?

If the requirement will be that no one used social media, never disagreed with anyone, or lived in a log cabin with no wi-fi, how will we ever get a president?

This is kinda weird, and you should remember that it is practically midnight, but an interesting topic none the less.

Exams are over for us (finally) and it's summer vacation! I hope you enjoy it!

Cats are Secretly Controlling the World

No, really, they are.

Other news! I'm finally getting off my lazy bum and posting. Yay for not procrastinating!

Join me in not procrastinating, my friends! Grab your to-do list and complete one of the tasks on it! Unless its grocery shopping. That can wait.

So can the DMV.

Anyway, I'm certain you're probably expecting some point to show up sooner or later, but it's already been made. Cats are secretly controlling the world. Just think about it. They are clearly smart enough. They know when they're misbehaving, and they do it anyway. They multiply constantly. Not to mention their attitudes! If anything is keeping them from ruling the world, its that every cat is an arrogant hoity-toity kitty that demands their tuna with cream on the side, cooled slightly and with a sprig of catnip on the top.

Watch out, folks. The cats might get you.

Questions troubling us Today

I am here to answer your top questions that start with the phrase "what is" followed by every letter of the alphabet. Let's start this up!

-What is a short sale
The act of illegally trying to sell a leprechaun or midget.

-What is bmw select
A Russian online service that stands for Buy My Wife.

-What is credit
The ability to buy goods or services because they trust you enough to pay it back.

-What is diabetes
It is when your body is full of elves that constantly need sugar to stay alive.

-What is epilepsy
A neurological disorder usually marked by unconsciousness and seizures.

-What is fracking
A type of dirty dancing not allowed at school sponsored events.

-What is good credit score
When your credit (see above) is good.

-What is Huntington's disease
When you hunt to much, the animals rise up against the power and curse you with Huntington's Disease.

-What is incomplete dominance
When no one actually wears the pants in a relationship.

-What is java
Do you mean the reader or the coffee?

-What is kawasaki disease
Why do you care about all of these diseases?


We are changing the game!
It will now be "Why are"

-Why are leaves green
They are full of chlorophyll and chlorophorme

-Why are my ears hot
There are so my ways that answer could go.

-Why are nuts a heart a heart healthy food
This is just a crazy guess, but I'm going to guess because it's healthy and doesn't clog your cardiovascular system.

-Why are oxygen atoms neutral
Because they have the same number of protons as electrons.

-Why are prions unique
Can anyone actually answer what a "prion" is without googling it?

-Why are quakers called quakers
Because you should be "Quaking before the Lord!".

-Why are red pandas endangered
RED PANDAS ARE REAL!?!

-Why are sloths so slow
You try moving fast with arms like ham bones.

-Why are there no large arthropods
When the elephant sized mice created the universe, they were being persecuted by arthropods that were very large at that time so to punish them, the witch doctor mice decided to forever shrink them.

-Why are unions bad
When did anyone say ever say that unions were bad?

-Why are veins blue
They're not.

-Why are we alive
Why are you asking google for the meaning of life?

-Why are x rays dangerous
The government got the technology from the aliens and you should never trust that the aliens are looking out for our well being.

-Why are you a Christian
I don't think that google has religious beliefs.

-Why are zombies so poular
Because they are secretly brain washing you to be ready for the apocalypse.

Thoughts from study hall

I'm in study hall right now.
It is really boring.
Lately, all I've been doing is googling stuff while listening to Yo-Yo Ma.
I'm cold.
And tired.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Where do you want to go to college?
Why does height make someone mature enough to have a job?
Why is Yo-Yo Ma so freaking incredible?
What is freaking (as in the verb)?
My eyes hurt.
I THINK THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS ON.
We've been gone for a while.
But we will return.
I don't quite know when.
But we will.
For the meantime though I will return.
To Yo-Yo Ma envy.
Then to study hall.
Then to strange German films with electric donkeys named Power Tool.
But I'm giving away to much.
You should also listen to this Beethoven song that sounds like angels singing.
Then go back to Bach (Cello Suite in G Major to be exact- the Yo-Yo Ma version of course).
That sounds like angels crying tears of love.
Also watch the West Wing if you partially understand the American govermental system.
A lot.
If you understand it well, watch the netflix only show House of Cards.
There are still six minutes in Study Hall.
If you are still reading,
I congradulate you.
With more words.
I should be doing that bio homework.
But it is 8:20 and I'm tired.
The guy infront of me is playing a game with a title of:
Nuclear Darkness, Global Climate change & Nuclear Famine.
He sounds like a fun time.
Well now I have to return.

Fine I'll Post Something

Random youtube videos are random and thoroughly entertaining.

The State of the Union

I just finished watching the State of the Union address given by the United States President, Barack Obama and then the Republican Response given by Florida State Senator, Marco Rubio.

*I would like to add as a quick note that this is going to be very full of American politics, so if you are from a different country or are trying to find out more about American politics by way of the internet (. . . why? . . .), good luck! The voices from the back of the room are screaming "Click away while you still can!", but you're a brave soul. Read the rest at your own risk. You have now been warned . . .

To first understand the address, you must know what it is. The State of the Union (SOTU) address is a speech that the president gives concerning how the nation is doing now and what he hopes to do to improve it. It is given shortly after the president is inaugurated (sworn into office), which is January 20. Now to get onto the specifics, my favorite statistic from the night was that John Boehner (pronounced bay-ner), the Speaker of the House (the person in charge of the largest of our two legislative bodies, the House of Representatives), stood up three times in the entire one hour speech while others were standing every three minutes. After Obama got reelected, Boehner swore that he would not talk, make deals with, or compromise with the president. The three times Boehner stood up were when president Obama entered the room, left the room, and talked about Al Queda. I may not always agree with Obama's politics but that man can give a speech. The major topics he focused on were the economy, education, and gun control. Marco Rubio gave the Republican Response that followed the SOTU because Rubio, a republican, was countering the things that Obama, a democrat, had said in Obama's speech while still enforcing the republican ideals (i.e. that republicans are not always in favor of the upper class). At the end of the day, it was a very fun night of politics (for me).

If you want to see the speeches cuz you've got time, I strongly recommend it. Please watch the speeches (below) and give your imput.

State of the Union address

Marco Rubio's Republican Response

German: Collins School Dictionary

Guess who was studying their German!

Anyway, Libbie has more or less called me out and told me to post, so here I go, answering the same questions as her since she told me to and if I don't I'm gonna get the Death Stare at lunch tomorrow.

Q:What was the last book you read?
A: Erm, I think my math textbook. Which is bloody useless. Half of the conjectures are blanked out, because I have to 'discover them'. Pah!

Q:Does a horse go to heaven?
A: Horsie Heaven, obviously.

Q:Do you like roller coasters?
A: NO.

Q:Day or night?
A: Night. Though right now it's early evening.

Q:What do you hear right now?
A: I'm listening to Air1 right now through my ear buds, so I hear nothing but 'All This Time' by Britt Nicole.

Q:What would you name your son or daughter if you had one?
A: Son- Caden, Matthew, or Mark. 

Daughter- Cadence or Victoria.

Q:The last thing you ate was . . .
A: Oyster crackers.

Q:Do you sing in the shower?
A: No, there are people still sleeping when I shower, so I can't really make too much noise.

Q:Three things others have described you as:
A: 1) Smart

2) Nice

3) Annoying (though that would be my sister saying it, more than likely)

Q:What is the last movie you watched?
A: The Odd Life of Timothy Green. It was just okay. Too many loose ends for my taste, but it was cute.

Q:When is the last time you drank?
A: I had a glass of water with my oyster crackers.

Q:How many aunts and uncles do you have?
A: Not counting great-aunts and those people that I'm not sure how they relate to me but I call them aunt or uncle anyway, 3 aunts and 3 uncles.

Q:Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
A: My nook is technically the nearest book to me, but that's off so here's the nearest real book.

"...warpe face. The set snarl, the dark-furred leer, as if even in its..."-Railsea, China Mieville.

Q:What is the last film you saw in the theater?
A: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Q:What was the last thing you bought?
A: I think it was a hot chocolate at Starbucks. I can't remember what size.

Q:What is bed time?
A: The time at which one goes to bed. I don't know if I have one...I go to bed when I feel tired.

Sometimes doing random crazy stuff like this is way more entertaining than it should be.

Clueless

Circles are confusing.
I don't know why they're special, but they are.
Thought you ought to know.

Since I am going through a dreadfully painful session of writer's block, I thought I would answer the questions that everyone is dying to know the answer to!

Q:What was the last book you read?
A:Pages 265-291 of my Government textbook.

Q:Does a horse go to heaven?
A:I would like to think that if it was a good horse than yes, yes it did.

Q:Do you like roller coasters?
A:I think, but I cannot come to a firm conclusion.

Q:Day or night?
A:Night

Q:What do you hear right now?
A:Besides my fingers clicking; the hum of my computer, my fan, the pluming in my house, and every fiber in my being dying of boredom and tiredness.

Q:What would you name your son or daughter if you had one?
A:Son-James, Matthew, David, William, Callum, Jack, Holden, Caledon
Daughter-Jane, Annabell Lee, Ophelia, Scarlett, Katherina

Q:The last thing you ate was . . .
A:Chocolate pudding

Q:Do you sing in the shower?
A:It is better than an opera

Q:Three things others have described you as:
A: 1)Arrogant and conceded, but fully aware of it
     2)Sarcastic
     3)better than everyone! LOLs (I just couldn't think of a third thing)

Q:What is the last movie you watched?
A:My Fair Lady. I stayed up until 1 in the morning watching it on TCM. It was well worth it, my friends. Watch it and redeem yourself.

Q:When is the last time you drank?
A:I just had a glass of water, but I have a feeling that's not what you meant . . .

Q:How many aunts and uncles do you have?
A: Aunts-5 Uncles-9

Q:Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
A: "self. So I grabbed the shot glass and Tina says, 'Aw, f*ck him'"-Will Grayson, Will Grayson

Q:What is the last  film you saw in the theater?
A:Les Miserables

Q:What was the last thing you bought?
A:Two shirts and a dress from H&M

Q:What is bed time?
A:It is an arbitrary idea conjured up by some lunatic for the proper time to go to sleep but the only fixed time is for the youths. Everyone else's bed time is whenever they see fit. But this seems like a good ending point cuz im sleepy!

I invite everyone to answer these questions so that I can learn more about you. Fitting to the name of the post, I now declare thee the Clueless Questions! Jessica, don't think that there is any way you can get out of doing this.


Pick-up Line of the Day:
Good thing I'm not wearing my contacts today.

Birdwing

Hey Libbie, it's your turn! Post something!

Norman demands it!

Macavity: The Mystery Cat

Hey, Libbie, I found a real kitty criminal in literature for you! See? (I am a master at using the hyperlink function in blogger!)

Anyway, I think it needs to be said. This blog is officially all stuff and no story. Do I particularly care?

...Not really.

So instead, I give you all a picture of an incredibly photo-shopped cat.

Today I taught half the lunch table what an OC was. I was kind of surprised they didn't know what an OC/self-insert was, but hey, every day people learn something new! This kitty staring into your soul could be someones OC for something like Warriors or something. You never know. (It would probably explain why his eye is photoshopped such an unrealistically pungent purple.)

Anyway, OC stands for original character. They're typically created by fans of a show, movie, comic, or series of novels, and are typically used for either writing (usually horrible) fanfiction or for role playing. For example, after explaining it to my friends, one of them said she'd create an OC as a test, and here's what she said (give or take an um, like, or other word I've forgotten.)

"An OC could be Fale, who lives in District Two and marries Gale."

And that's honestly all there is to it. Now, just because they have bad reputations as being not-very-well-thought-out characters doesn't mean they aren't fun.

In fact, their ridiculousness is part of their charm.

Since I have nothing else interesting to say...I end here.

Auf Wiedersehen!

My Cat is a Drug Lord

So it turns out that we are supposed to write four pages for English. But it is due in about 12 hours and I don't think I could be more creatively challenged if I tried. So I figured "Why not write something that a bunch of people will not read!" (or at least not grade me for). I smell really bad right now. I just saw the premiere of Downton Abbey (season 3). I think that the last 2 minutes of Les Miserables were not only extremely important, but also amazing. I miss talking to my friend Matt. I miss seeing my friend Matt. I miss my friend Matt. I wish that I didn't hate to choose money over passion. I wish I wasn't greedy.I wish I could read better. I wish I wasn't sociopathic at times. I wish I wasn't fat. I wish I had better grades. I wish I cared enough to change them. I wish other people didn't trust me . I wish I didn't kill people's trust in me. I wish I didn't have to be a proper lady all of the time. I wish I had a higher self-esteem. I wish I could notice things. I wish people didn't notice things about me. I wish that my biggest problem was about what I should do next weekend. I wish that a guy liked me. I wish a lot of things. It may make me seem shallow, but whatevsies.
And on a lighter note . . .
We have to write poetry for English. Our teacher told us that someone wrote a poem entitled "My Cat is a Drug Lord". That must have been a fun read. An I have solved the mystery that has been baffling man-kind for centuries.
I found rhymes for orange.
No one ever said it had to be one word. You could say door hinge or floor binge (I don't know what you eat). I love it when people say words exactly how they're spelled. It makes me laugh.
I'm in debate, and I hate to brag, but I'm rather good at (and I have the trophies to prove so). But until yesterday I had never won against two people from our school, so when we (my partner and I) found out we would be going against them, we spent an hour using multiple people to help devise a strategy to beat them. In our plan, we were going to mess up a bunch of stuff and they would only say that we messed up and they would never argue any of the points. We were in cross-examination after my first speech and the guy was asking me questions and he was trying to make me admit that it was too late in the season to be making mistakes. And at some point I said "We're not allowed to make mistakes? I messed up on where to put things. It's not like I accidentally killed someone.". After I said that, everyone in the room started cracking up, including the judge, one of our coaches, and our team captain (I don't know why the latter two were watching our round). It made my day.

'The Hobbit'

Libbie told me at some point today (my memory sucks) to write a post, so here's me writing a post!

I've decided to write about not 'The Hobbit', since I'm fairly certain you all have already formed your own opinions about it and no longer care what Libbie nor I thought about it, but about the book 'A Web of Air' by Philip Reeves, which I am currently smack dab in the middle of.

BTW, Libbie, you should start reading more steampunk, or large portions of what I say will start to not make sense.

It's the sequel to the book I mentioned in my 'hey look Jess is alive!' post. The main character is still a logical, more-or-less emotionless genius, and she's decided she wants to discover the secret to flight. Oh yes, awesomeness happens. She meets a crazy guy who talks to birds, she meets another guy who's so fat he can't see his toes (yet somehow he moves about), and she works in a theater troupe that does stuff like 'Niall Strong-Arm; or The Conquest of the Moon'. Maybe y'all don't find that funny, but in context it made me giggle a little more than I thought appropriate.

Then again, everyone's sense of humor is different. Maybe that offends someone. It certainly doesn't offend me.

So, in conclusion, read Philip Reeve's Fever Crumb series, and be amazed.


Also, congratulations for surviving the fiscal cliff!